I’m weird. I know this. Anyone who spends time around me knows this.

What I’ve learned is that people either embrace my weird and love me all the more for it (these are MY people) or they don’t. Neither is right or wrong, just true for how people operate.

I’ve talked before about how I love and show up for people.

The Lord often reminds me that my biggest testimonies have come from places of victory from failures or traumas in my life. My loving people was birthed in that place.

When I love you – I love you with my whole authentic self. I show up – I encourage, I bake, I write cards, I make space for you, I dedicate time for you, I share things, and I make sure that you don’t lose sight of all the things that make you amazing.

I don’t know how to do that any less. I wouldn’t want to.

At times, I’ve been told that is “too much.” That it can be overwhelming.

For many years, I worked to make myself smaller so I could be more easily digestible. So I could not be overbearing to someone.

What I’ve learned as I’ve grown in wisdom is that I’m not for everyone. Not everyone I have loved has been capable of loving me in return.

This also means that there are sometimes individuals I show up for that aren’t meant to stay forever. Perhaps they need an example of that kind of love, perhaps they need to understand what it looks like when someone stays, perhaps it’s for reasons I may never understand.

Sometimes I love people more than they love me.

Sometimes I love people who can’t love me.

Sometimes I love people who celebrate my weird and match it with their own.

You know what I’ve learned in each of these spaces?

To love people anyway.

I know the Lord often places people in my path that need someone to show up. So I do and I’ll continue to do so.

Some seasons are hard to let go of and take an emotional toll on me but I’m grateful for each of those spaces, regardless of the time period.

A few weeks ago, I was praying over a situation that I’ve been struggling to understand. A situation that sometimes breaks my heart and yet I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I was crying out to the Lord and asking why in the world my heart bleeds the way it does when it sometimes breaks so completely because of it. Without pause, I heard “the way you love people is one of the most beautiful things about you.” (Please don’t read this and think I think too highly of myself, know that I am aware this has so little to do with me and all points to Jesus).

There have been times when I’ve not understood why I keep showing up for someone society tells me I should let go of. BUT until I discern my assignment is completed and I’m released, I show up.

“But Teresa, you can’t show up for other people when you should be looking out for yourself.” The reality is, I’d agree if my hope was in protecting myself. However, my hope isn’t in my own strength; my hope is in the Lord and I know he guards my heart much more fiercely than I ever could.

Jesus said that our greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind. Our second greatest is to love our neighbor as ourself. (Matthew 22:36-39)

Jesus also defined who our neighbor is in the story of the Good Samaritan. When a man is helped – not his kinsman, or a priest, but his societal enemy. (Luke 10:25-37)

This doesn’t make sense to carnal minds.

Why would we be called to put ourselves second and then to love others as much as we love ourselves? Society’s message is to look out for number one (me, myself, and I).

One of the things I’ve also learned in situations that break my heart – sometimes my heart breaks because I’m looking at a situation from a lens of my own experience and forgetting not everything is about me. We aren’t always right – we don’t see all of the pieces at play.

I recently had to apologize and offer forgiveness to a friend of mine because the Holy Spirit made me aware that I was carrying hurt from a one-sided set of expectations from over a year ago. I realized it was present after I was emotionally triggered by something that didn’t make sense for me to be upset about.

We weren’t called to love others once we know what they’re going through.

We weren’t called to love others after we ask them enough questions to decipher they’re worthy of love.

We are just called to love.

To show up.

To trust the Lord has our best interest at heart and follow his leading, knowing he has a plan for our good.

To trust he sees all of the pieces we do not.

To be willing to be obedient, knowing that our loving others is bigger than ourselves. That when we show up for someone else, we are the hands and feet of Jesus.

As a clarification – I’m not claiming the Lord wants us to stay in places of abuse or remove the ability to set boundaries when there is an unhealthy situation and call that love. Wisdom and discernment are imperative and abuse is never orchestrated or approved by the Lord. There are situations where boundaries are warranted and loving someone from a distance without providing them direct access is necessary. We must each use discernment, wisdom, and wise counsel, when necessary, as we seek out the heart of God in our lives and actions.

❤️

Over the last year, the Lord has done much work and preparation in my heart. As any good Father does, this preparation has also come with warnings to heed.

There have been two recurring themes:

1. He has a plan
2. Don’t be distracted

I find it no coincidence that the more I press in to pray about stepping into things, the more distractions pop up.

As I have reached stages in my walk this year where I’ve been pressing into more of Jesus, there never fails to be something that pops up and serves to distract me.

Work.

Relationships with others.

Ministry.

The places that I care most about – my family and friends.

Many years ago, a friend and I went to a Todd Agnew worship event in Kingsport. I can’t tell you the songs we sang but I can tell you this one story he told. It has stayed with me.

He said the Lord had been having him research sheep, because we are sheep in the flock and he is our shepherd. He said he assumed God had him researching sheep because they’re fluffy and cute, they’re useful and provide resources in their wool, they stick together, etc.

Instead as he researched sheep and spoke with a farmer who started to give him attributes of sheep. 1. They’re smelly 2. They don’t always listen like they should 3. They are dumb.

That third one was actually one he wanted to explore, so he asked for an explanation. The farmer told him that sheep are often so singularly focused they become consumed with the task at hand. For instance, they start eating and they don’t pay attention to their proximity to the other sheep, they just eat grass and find more grass (and repeat).

Meaning sometimes they are busy doing something and don’t look up. When they don’t look up, they can become separated from the flock and find themselves in need of rescue (cause, again, sheep are dumb).

Sound familiar? It has stayed with me for 10+ years because I saw the similarity between myself and sheep in that moment.

In my own experience, I don’t always realize there’s a distraction at play at first (sneaky snooks).

I simply become absorbed with the task at hand and suddenly, I look up and here I am. Not necessarily separated but sometimes withdrawn and a bit closed off to others. Somehow now off to the side of the purposeful area I once stood. Sometimes in a place that may leave me discouraged, broken, or feeling a bit out of sorts.

The same way that sheep was never meant to be where they are, neither am I (or you).

You know what’s beautiful though?!?

Jesus.

He’s a shepherd that will leave the 99 to find the 1 who wandered off and bring them back to their place of purpose (just like a physical sheep farmer will do for one in his flock).

So if you find yourself today in a place you’re not certain of, maybe you were heads down and just looked up wondering where you are, maybe you drifted knowingly and aren’t sure how to move forward, maybe you found yourself in another situation entirely – cry out. Your shepherd will hear you, he will meet you where you are, he will find you and bring you right back.

You’re never too far, too lost, too distracted.

Luke 15:4-7

❤️

When I was a pre-teen/ teenage girl, I can remember being asked a series of questions pretty often by adults.

1. How many boyfriends do you have?
2. What do you want to be when you grow up?
3. How are you doing in school?

It was usually in that order, in my experiences. I don’t know if it’s just a different time and generation but I don’t hear that first question asked of my daughter much (and I’m grateful for that).

I can remember being pretty young and praying for my future boyfriend/spouse. Praying to meet them, praying over what they might be like, praying to meet “the one God had for me.”

I have never been what society considers to be traditionally “pretty.” When I was younger, “skinny” for my body type still wasn’t society’s skinny and I always felt like I was failing at being attractive because I didn’t fit the mold that the early 2000s “fat” culture (hello ultra low rise jeans) told me I should.

Eventually, I grew out of that mindset. I went to college. I dated. (Though I was a heathen at this time in my life, so I wasn’t living in a way that was in pursuit of what God had for my life in any capacity).

Looking back at my preteen, teenage and sometimes even early adult years, I realize I was focused on the wrong thing. I prayed for this magically assigned/appointed person to be provided to me. When that didn’t happen, I again felt like I’d failed.

The reality is I should have always been praying the Lord prepare ME. Prepare MY heart. Mold ME. Shape ME in HIS image.

That way, I would have the fruit I needed to discern when someone was a wise choice. To recognize when someone aligned to the Lord in a way that would honor HIM (and me by proxy).

It’s not a secret I was previously married. I’ve spoken about revelations the Lord has provided to me out of the ashes of my failed marriage over the last two years (and he is continuing to do so).

I’ve been praying for the past two years. Praying for several things to come to fruition but initially, I was praying my laundry list of attributes the Lord must want me to have in a partner. I’d pray, not with the intention of being a kid making a Christmas list, but perhaps it sounded that way to the Lord. 😂

I remember about a year ago, I was praying about some of these pieces and praying specifically about how I would want to be loved by my future partner and the Lord said to me:

“You don’t even let me love you that way.”

And I stopped.

What does that mean? How could little old me “let” God love me or not. God LOVES me. I know that.

And he does.

But God will never force me to accept the vastness of his love. So while I’ve always known he loves me, he sent his son to die and save me so I can be with him forever, he has plans for my life, he works things to my good, there’s grace, there’s mercy, there’s so many things…BUT I was never letting him love ME.

All the pieces of ME.

The broken parts that were left behind from a childhood of feeling unwanted that I held together in my own hands.

The jagged pieces I kept out of the spotlight because they aren’t “pretty enough” to showcase.

The quiet pieces that still silently questioned whether or not I was ever going to be enough.

The shiny pieces that have been polished and are strong were always easy to offer – my praise, my worship, my prayer time, any scriptural knowledge, my giftings, my encouragement or compassion for others…THOSE were easy to love.

The problem though – I wasn’t (and still am not) just made up of shiny pieces, try as I might.

And while there had been vast restoration in so many areas, the Lord needed me to see there were still pieces I held on to myself because I’d believed for so long that those pieces were just “who I am” and they still (somehow, somewhere in the background) disqualified me from being fully lovable. That I was “damaged.”

And so I didn’t LET the Lord truly love me. I let him be present with me, I had a relationship with him but not one that was me giving him every part of myself.

Beyond that, he began to deal with me about how I don’t do a great job of letting OTHER people fully love me either.

You see, I love people fiercely. If you are someone who is in my circle, I’m ALL IN for you. I would move mountains for someone I love.

I sometimes forget that there are people out there who love me just as much as I love them. I have to remember to accept that to be true.

One of my favorite songs growing up in my church was based on the scripture from Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭1‬-‭2‬. The lyrics read “I have redeemed you, I have called you by name. Child you are mine.” It went on to outline that we won’t be burned or drowned because the Lord is with us.

But in that first section there…”I have redeemed you.”

You see, God wasn’t surprised by any of the pieces I held. He already knew them. He was there in the moments that broke those shards. He witnessed them. He’s already made the way for them to be redeemed, I just have to hand them over.

“I have called you by name.”

Sometimes we as Christians forget that our sin isn’t our name – it’s simply what we’ve done. Our actions don’t dictate who we are – they dictate what we may reap in a season but who we ARE, that was already determined at our creation. We are each created with purpose; Purpose that is unique to each of us. It’s up to us to move out of the way and let him see it through to completion, as spoken in Philippians. (“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians‬ ‭1‬:‭6‬ ‭ESV‬‬).

I’ve often said I learned so much more about the love God has for us when I had my babies. The same way I could never fully articulate to my children exactly HOW MUCH I love them (a love that is unconditional and encompasses all of who they are), we also can never truly grasp the great depth of our Heavenly Father’s love for us. It’s even MORE encompassing than what I feel for my kids because while I have love, HE IS love.

“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬-‭20‬ ‭ESV‬‬

There is no question as to whether or not I am lovable. Whether or not you are lovable. We are.

So much more than we could ever imagine or truly comprehend.

The real question is – are you willing to let go of each of the pieces that YOU hide behind that don’t allow you to fully accept that love?

I am loved.

And so are you.

We just have to be willing to receive that.

❤️

The Lord has great plans for my life. Plans that are beautiful and prosperous. Beyond all I can imagine or even try to plan for myself.

I know this.

There are several promises the Lord has spoken to me about many areas of my life. My future partner, my calling in ministry, specific pieces that are not yet fulfilled but I hold on to.

There’s one particular promise I’ve been praying about and pressing into more lately.

I have questions.

I want to understand.

In September, I taught my rotation in our youth Sunday school class. We talked about bringing a sacrifice of praise and what that means.

They defined sacrifice as giving up something that has value to you for a specific purpose. We defined praise not only as a song we sing but the life we lead and every action that we purposefully choose to honor the Lord.

They recalled the story of Issac being taken as a sacrifice by his father, Abraham.

Shortly after, during a women’s conference at my church the Lord dropped the title of this post in my spirit. “You cannot love the promise more than me.”

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on that word and thinking about how Isaac was a promise fulfilled by the Lord. How he was promised to a couple who couldn’t have children and were advanced in age.

How when the Lord asked Abraham to take Isaac up on the mountain and sacrifice him, I would imagine it must have felt almost like a betrayal.

I would have had so many questions.

I may even have had what I refer to as a prayer time “hissy fit.”

“I prayed for him, for years. Father, you brought him to fruition as your promise…only to ask me to sacrifice him back to you. I don’t understand this.”

I can remember being told not to question the Lord. “His ways are higher than our ways…we should never question.”

For years, I felt guilty each time I had a moment of wanting to ask a question or express my desire to know why?” I felt like it made me less of a “good” Christian.

What I’ve learned is God isn’t threatened by my questions. He’s not upset with how my brain works. At the same time, I don’t get to demand an answer on my timeline, in my questioning. Sometimes the answer simply IS “no” or “not yet” and I don’t get to know more yet. I’ve learned to accept that.

I can’t tell you the number of times lately I’ve thought about how this season feels like waiting, feels like wilderness and then there’s been a word shared on social media that aligns to just that and reminds me God does work in the waiting, in the wilderness.

All of this to say – it’s okay to desire the promise, to want to reach that destination. We can’t lose sight of the promise keeper.

HE is working all things to our good according to his purpose.

HE has good plans.

HE loves us so completely.

HE desires relationship with each of us. True relationship.

When we chase the promise…we aren’t focused on the Father.

When our goal is to receive, we lose sight of the work there is to do (both the work he has to do in us and for us to do around us).

Abraham understood that. The promise he was given didn’t outweigh the end goal. Receiving the promise wasn’t the end. It was just another stop on the way to the destination.

He was willing to relinquish his promise in favor of the trusting the promise keeper (and found it was never actually about keeping his promise but instead trusting the Lord).

❤️

Sometimes something so simple clicks in a way it never has before.

The Lord convicted me recently and I always want to share the revelations that come around those in case someone else may also benefit.

There’s a passage in Matthew 6 where Jesus teaches around not being anxious. Outlining the Lord provides for the birds and beasts but loves us more than that and will provide for us too, states we add nothing to our lives with worry. And one specific scripture comes to mind in that passage:

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” – Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭33‬ ‭ESV‬‬

A few weeks ago, I was getting ready for church and I was praying through my list of things. I had several thought processes working in my mind as I was going about my morning.

That verse in Matthew popped into my spirit along with this one:

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I recalled something I’ve shared with others multiple times around how we pray about something first because it aligns our heart to the heart of the Father. It ensures we’re seeking his solution and not our own.

Immediately, I began to think “huh…how odd that would pop into my spirit when I was just praying about these things, I’m already doing that.”

And just like that…*click*

I was praying about solutions, I was requesting my steps to be guided, I was requesting doors to be opened and shut.

I wasn’t seeking HIM.

I was seeking provision and ordered steps.

Please don’t misunderstand me, we need ordered steps, we need provision, above all of that…we NEED the Lord.

When that Holy Spirit unraveled for me in that moment was this:

I shouldn’t focus my prayer solely on:

• My job
• My relationships
• The situation I’m facing

My prayer should first be focused on seeking his heart. On seeking his Kingdom.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t hear about those other pieces, or that I don’t still request his provision and direction.

It means that when my focus is on the order and next steps I’m seeking, I’m missing HIM in those moments.

“Seek ye first the Kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you”

The Lord has stilled me in so many places over the past two years. Places he’s grown me and ensured my heart hasn’t grown bitter or hardened toward others. Places he’s shown me what it is to walk in his grace.

Have I gotten that right every time? Nope.

Just last week some close friends of mine were with me as I processed my emotional responses out loud and was angry. (If you’re one of those friends who sat with me in my big emotions this week, THANK YOU and I love you! I know each of you know my heart and have been holding me in prayer).

There was nothing wrong with me approaching the throne with the things I knew I needed the Lord to guide me in, but I’m grateful he wants so much more for me in those moments than just bringing my petition to him, and he will remind me gently of that.

In the grand scheme of things, the pieces I’m facing don’t compare to the kingdom assignment of eternity. That doesn’t mean they don’t matter, or that he doesn’t care for those aspects (or isn’t intervening).

It simply means, I can’t become so wrapped up in my own day to day that I lose sight of the big picture.

I must seek the Kingdom first and trust he has a plan for everything else. Knowing his plans are not only good, but for MY good. Acknowledge that he’s bringing those plans to fruition.

I must also get OUT of the way and align myself in obedience in my own responses and actions.

❤️

I was mowing two weeks ago and the Lord finished a word that’s been in my spirit for a bit but never felt complete to document it.

I was thinking about how we sometimes say that “we’re only human” as if being human automatically equates to sin. It doesn’t.

Adam was created as human in the image of God. He was not automatically destined for poor choice.

It wasn’t until pride entered and sin was chosen. The serpent told Eve she could be like God if she ate the fruit. She chose sin.

Then I was thinking about how often pride enters a story in the Bible and causes separation of man and God (the Tower of Babel, Samson, even Noah’s story with the ark).

Sometimes we excuse things because “it’s just in their nature” or “it’s human nature” when we actually need to be coaching better choices to be made.

Pride is so often the root of many sins. Pride, we know, leads to destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.

The Lord connected though that humility, when used incorrectly, can also be destructive.

I am an incredibly independent individual who can/has accomplish(ed) many tasks BUT I’m also sometimes more passive in an attempt to keep the peace around me.

In different times of my life, I’ve made myself smaller as to not offend someone else or not to “make myself a spectacle” and I’ve called it being humble.

Humility isn’t an outward action though, it’s a heart stance.

Pride also isn’t an outward action, it’s a heart stance.

These stances both 100% influence actions we take in alignment to our stances though.

Samson boasted in HIS great ability and what he could accomplish. His own arrogance placing a strain on the gift he was given and ultimately failed to honor.

Humility isn’t maintaining a spot out of the public eye or away from praise of others. Humility is taking on the heart of God, boldly stepping into what you’re called to do BUT all the while pointing others back to the GOD in you who makes it possible.

I have been gifted with the ability to sing.

Since I was a little girl, worship has been the place the Lord most communes with me. I love to worship the Lord.

Also since I was a little girl, one of my biggest difficulties always used to be singing in front of others, for fear of being judged poorly.

Many years ago, I joined the worship team, sang with a mic, but wanted to stand in the back, out of sight. I called it humility, but I was actually hiding.

When we are prideful, we boast in ourselves.

When we are hiding, we fail to acknowledge what God IS doing in and through us. We fail to align that God is more than capable of using us and we fail to acknowledge who he is in our lives.

The Lord wants us to be fully committed to him.

Casting ourselves aside, so we can be filled all the more with his spirit.

When there’s less of us and more of him, we aren’t boasting in ourselves.

When we allow fear to take up space, we are aligning ourselves to God being able to do great things…BUT not in or through us.

Both are wrong.

Both are poor reflections of our Father.

We have to ask ourselves – “am I prideful, humble, or hiding? “

❤️

I love that the Lord teaches me so many things in ways he knows my heart will learn them. It always astounds me that he’s so personal that way.

I’ve shared before that the Holy Spirit had given me a warning a few years ago that I’d be removed from ministry, I’d want to defend myself but was to keep silent. 8 months later when that happened, I immediately remembered my warning.

I’ve also shared that season was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I “heard” things about myself that I knew weren’t true. I let go of hurt I never dreamt would be wielded from the mouths of people I loved dearly. I grieved losses I never anticipated I would have.

I was also provided with hope in my loneliest season.

I was given joy in the midst of lying on my face in the floor crying out to the Lord.

This week, I asked the Lord “how much longer will I need to remain silent about this?” and so gently, he gave me a realization that my silence is about my obedience, yes, BUT my silence has also allowed me to learn to seek his approval over the approval of men.

Had I spent the past few years defending myself , it would only have been in service to “winning over” the opinions of those around me. While I love y’all…I also can tell you I’ve learned your opinions mean so very little in the grand scheme of things. (People pleasing is a TRAP of the enemy).

Having other people think/believe the worst in me regardless of the truth, regardless of what transpired, regardless of what the Lord spoke into my life doesn’t actually reflect poorly on me…it reflects on their own hearts.

I won’t stand in judgement before the Lord for all things others believed I did/didn’t do, assumed I did/didn’t do. I’ll be responsible only for my own actions, thoughts I didn’t take captive, and sin I didn’t crucify in Jesus.

I say all of this not to showcase how “great” I am (I’m not 🤣) but because it’s important for us, as Christians, to recognize that the Holy Spirit convicts us, God loves us enough to chastise us as his children, and you may not always get “justice” in the eyes of man. You can’t control that. You CAN control how you react, the amount of time you spend pouring your heart out to your father instead of anyone who listens, and the level of obedience you choose to walk in.

When someone wrongs you, take it to the Lord. You don’t need justification from another person.

Do I get that right every time? Nope.

I’ve realized that when I tell my circle every detail of every offense though, what I accomplish is potentially creating an offense in them toward another person too.

Does this mean we don’t share our lives? Not at all. We’re directed to share one another’s burdens but also not cause one another to stumble.

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭1‬-‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

If the goal in sharing details is to share the burden for the purpose of praying over a situation or a person, THAT is what it is to bear burdens.

If the goal is to have someone agree with us in justification, we are seeking the approval of man and not the heart of the Father.

At the end of the day, if the entire world doesn’t approve of us but we are aligned to the heart of God…we are doing what we are called to do.

We have to live differently in order to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Our steps aren’t along the same path as the world.

Our way forward won’t be popular and it won’t always make sense to onlookers.

People will talk (it’s what people do in their flesh but can’t be what we do as Christians).

People will mock us.

People may even persecute us.

Seek the heart of the Father anyway. The impact we are driving isn’t in this world that is temporary, it’s kingdom eternal. (2 Peter 3 and John 16:33)

❤️

Faith.

Faith is such a simple word but a fully encompassing action.

I can look back on different parts of my life and see places where my faith is all that carried me.

I can also look at other times and see when I worked on my own, outside of my faith, and made a mess of things in my attempt to “fix” it.

By Oxford dictionary definition, faith is “complete trust or confidence in someone or something.”

The Bible defines this a bit further:

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬ ‬‬

If we combine these two, we understand faith is giving our complete trust to the Lord, regardless of what we see or know on our own.

It’s not leaning on my own understanding because I have “knowledge” that helps me to determine the next step.

It’s not planning out a future for myself with a map and a compass and believing that God will give me the desires of my heart.

It’s not working in my own strength and then giving my acceptance speech that names God for making it possible.

It’s stepping out into the unknown with confidence that my Heavenly Father has a plan for my good. That he brings that plan to fruition.

It’s knowing I must acknowledge him first, before I take a step…before I make a move.

It’s seeking his kingdom first and THEN knowing he adds all these things unto me.

It’s understanding that when I seek HIS heart, my desires align with his.

It’s trusting that, even when I can’t see it, there’s a plan in play. A plan put in motion by the maker of heaven and Earth. Who is Alpha and Omega. Who sees through time because he’s present in all aspects.

It’s believing that no matter the outcome, there is purpose.

I think about my precious girl lying literally lifeless in a hospital bed unable to breathe for herself. Sitting beside her bed, laying my hands on her body, crying out to the very one who breathed life into her. Declaring life. Declaring healing. Declaring wholeness.

Not because I had the power to will it. I fully understood my powerlessness in those moments.

Yet faith stood strong.

Faith in the one who is my peace.

Faith in the one who already held the keys to death and grave.

Faith that there is an expected end for that baby and He would bring her to it.

Faith that acknowledged that even if the outcome didn’t look like what I wanted, I still knew and believed he was good.

So…even when it doesn’t look like what we think…faith enables us to say “even so…”

Several weeks ago, the Lord began pouring into me via many avenues. “Don’t look to the right or to the left” and the sign I knew was meant for me at the Hobby Lobby that simply says “He has a plan. Trust him,” as two examples.

Faith and trust go hand in hand. You can’t have faith without trust, it’s part of the very definition.

I don’t know what is to come.

I don’t know what will happen.

I don’t know what the plan is.

I don’t know where this path is leading.

I know WHO holds all of these pieces though.

I trust him completely.

Even when it’s hard.

I have faith.

❤️

My yard was overdue for mowing today.

We’ve had so much rain that it’s been hard to find an evening to do it (and I put it off on Saturday cause I was tired from mulching…and I’m old). I really didn’t want to do it tonight, I was tired and work was busy today. Alas, I looked at the forecast for this weekend and decided I’d just mow as much as I could until it got dark (fun fact – I got it all done, just barely).

I’m so glad I did.

While I was listening to praise music and pushing right along, one of Brandon Lake’s new songs “Daddy’s DNA” came on. I was pushing through and listening, internally singing along with the parts I’ve learned so far.

I started thinking about my own prodigal story, years ago. Of the testimony I have on this side of that season. And I heard the Lord say “it’s going to take so much more to reach them.”

Let me tell you something, as words began to pour into me, I nearly choked and sobbed while I pushed that mower.

Y’all…we can’t win the lost or the prodigal with harsh words described as love. “But Teresa, they need to hear the truth” – yes…you are correct but the tone and manner you speak that truth in matters.

It’s going to take us sitting in some messes side by side with some people.

It’s going to take us rolling up our sleeves and meeting people right where they are.

It’s going to take us being willing to wade in the messy and hold some people up.

It’s going to take so much more than a Sunday morning message can strengthen you to do.

It’s going to take prayer closets, digging in the word, fasting, and being the heart of Jesus.

So often I’ve asked the Lord “what is the good coming from this season I’ve been in” and I believe tonight is the first installment of showing me pieces of that.

In order to truly be able to understand brokenness, we must be broken. There is an authority we possess over the places we have victory in that allows us to speak life into others in that place.

Not because of ourselves but because of who he is IN us.

I was thinking about the Samaritan woman.

She didn’t need someone to come, wag a finger, and point out all the ugly “truth” about herself. She already knew those things. Jesus made his way to that well at that time of day just FOR HER.

He didn’t speak to her to condemn her in some harsh “truth” to help her see how sinful she was. He told her the truth about her circumstance, yes, but his focus was HER. Not the circumstance she was aligning herself to in false identity, but who she WAS in HIM. A true identity. An identity rooted in grace. An identity she was worthy of – not circumstantially but by inheritance because of her “Daddy’s DNA.”

And THAT made the difference.

She didn’t find grace in her community.

She didn’t find kindness in her surroundings.

She was searching but was condemned and alone.

It was messy. It was ugly.

And Jesus met her right there and made the difference.

It’s going to take so much more.

I think about times I ran into religious people during my prodigal walk. People who I genuinely believe were well meaning in their intention. People who rebuked me but not in kindness, in condemnation.

The thing was, I knew I was wrong. The enemy was already piling on condemnation and shame. I didn’t NEED more of that. As a matter of fact, what it taught me was to hide from church people (not quite the impact anyone intended).

Don’t get me wrong…we are to hold one another accountable (believer to believer, even a prodigal) but the Bible tells us to “restore one another gently.”

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

That’s how Jesus does it.

He RUNS TO the prodigal.

Not to shame them, but with arms wide open.

We have to be willing to be uncomfortable. To leave our bubble. To get our hands (and arms and clothes and shoes – you get it) dirty.

This is not a time for sitting in pews.

This is not a time for hiding in our homes.

This is not a time for blindly yelling scriptures from our keyboards.

This is the time to put our shoulder to the plow. The time of the harvest is coming.

It’s going to take so much more to reach them.

❤️

The older I get, the more I learn how much I enjoy being outside in the sunshine with my hands in the dirt. I spent Saturday at Lowe’s for supplies then working with my kiddos to weed and remulch all of my flower beds and plant a few new plant friends around the yard.

While I was out there on my hands and knees, mulching my large flower bed behind the porch, I got a close up look of my rose bush. From standing, it really didn’t seem to be out of sorts but from the vantage point I had while mulching, I could see a LOT of help needed.

There were lots of pieces that were left from last year’s growth. Things that were dead from last season but were still attached to the newly bloomed plant. Those dead pieces held no beauty but did have plenty of thorns and they HURT if I got too close (stuck myself a few times).

I grabbed the scissors that I was opening mulch bags with and I started cutting off dead pieces of the rose bush. I found some of the pieces were fine for me to cut but others were too thick and I couldn’t even make a dent (literally).

If you’re new here, you may not be aware that I’m a very “hands on” learner with a visual flair. The Lord knows this about me and he often ties lessons for me to learn to things I’m doing.

Here I am, all but being attacked by some old, dried out, used up stems on my rose bush. Then trying to fix it and growing frustrated because I can’t.

And just like that, the Lord starts talking to me about how until I examined more closely, I didn’t realize just how many dead and lifeless pieces were there on my rose bush. That I hadn’t paid attention to how those dead pieces were intertwined in the new life but were still able to wound any life that came near it. Those pieces would still expel some energy from my plant and interfere with the new life and new growth in progress.

The plant doesn’t have the ability to prune itself. It will hold on to those old seasons of used up growth that no longer serve it, adapt, and grow around it unless a skilled gardener comes in to help remove the dead things. If some hack (like me and my scissors) come in there ill equipped, there can be some progress but it will never be the same as if an expert comes in with the right tools and knowledge.

Do you know why pruning my rose bush is so important? I gave it a google and the AI response says “Pruning roses is necessary for their overall health, to encourage more and better blooms, and to maintain their shape and size. It involves removing dead, diseased, or damaged growth, thinning out overcrowded canes, and shaping the plant for better airflow and light penetration.”

If you haven’t out two and two together, we’re the rosebush in the garden. We sometimes hold on to old seasons, for various reasons. Even when they hurt us, even when they no longer serve us, even when they may hinder us. We cover that ugly up with new growth but what we really need to do is let the Lord come in, examine us, and remove it all together. To put down our scissors that aren’t helping us fully attack the problem and entrust our Father to have the knowledge and the tools needed to make the difference. When we get out of the way and let him take care of it, he can ultimately make room for the new things to come and help us transition fully into the season at hand.

That end result is always so worth it.

❤️